David Icke
Just take David Icke, the local British curiosity famous for claiming that the moon isn't real and that the world is run by shape-shifting alien reptiles. Laugh all you want — that dude has a net worth of 10 million pounds, accumulated through book sales and expensive, sold-out live talks. Whether people are generally interested in the reptilian moon people or they're just paying absurd cash to watch a crazy guy humiliate himself for a few hours, that money adds up. David Icke is a human singularity of insanity best known for his "reptoid" conspiracy theory. He came to fame as an English footballer and sports commentator and used to be a spokesman for the Green Party of England and Wales, but since 1991 has devoted his life to informing the world that it's actually secretly controlled by evil shape-shifting lizard-people from the 4th dimension. Genuinely. Descent into woo During the late 1980s while he was still with the Green Party, Icke began to look to alternative medicine for a cure for the arthritis that had ended his football career. This also brought him in contact with the local members of the New Age movement. In 1989, he experienced neurological symptoms (impression of a presence, momentary paralysis of lower extremities, auditory hallucination, facial sensations) that he interpreted as spirits trying to contact him. In 1990, he met a psychic he called his "soul mate" who began to introduce him to hardcore New Age woo. He went off the deep end shortly thereafter. He left the party in 1990 and was formally banned from it in 1994, with the Greens calling his views "fascist". Views "Some of my friends have urged me to tell people the basic story, but "for God's sake don't mention the reptiles" - David Icke, ''The Biggest Secret" Icke is a proponent of a super-duper grand unified conspiracy theory that mixes together just about every conspiracy theory you can think of; this he calls the "Babylonian Brotherhood." All members of the media, the scientific community, the banking system, and the religions and militaries of the world's nations are mere foot-soldiers of the conspiracy. These stooges are in turn controlled by the usual suspects: the United Nations, the Bilderberg Group, the Trilateral Commission, the Illuminati, the Freemasons, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Rothschild family, the World Bank, etc. All of these groups are merely the puppets of "the global elite," which are controlled by "the prison wardens." Reptoids A self-portrait by David Icke. I, for one, welcome our new reptilian overlords. In 1991, on Terry Wogan's TV chat show, in the middle of talking about football (the subject he was a guest on the show to talk about), Icke announced that he was "the son of God" and that Britain would be devastated by tidal waves and earthquakes (the UK isn't seismically active. He also began wearing all turquoise all the time which furthered claims he was either disturbed or perhaps a reptilian himself. The interview propelled Icke from a minor celebrity to a household name and laughing stock of the UK. Not just his Icke himself, but also his family were unable to appear in public without being ridiculed. His wife and children were considered "fair game" by some "journalists"; they would hover around his house peering into windows and follow his children to school. Proving, once more, that some journalists are bottom-feeding vultures. In 2006 Wogan admitted that he was "a bit sharp" during his 1991 interview and was "slightly embarrassed" by it. In 2012, he announced that the opening ceremony of the London 2012 games was a Satanic ritual designed to harness negative energy, and that "The Olympic Stadium is strategically placed on the earth-energy grid to tap into the immense London and British power centres and this is why Glastonbury Tor, one of the most significant earth-vortex points in the UK, is a centrepiece of the opening ceremony." Reality is a hologram If all of the above wasn't crazy enough, Icke seems to have taken The Matrix literally (well, minus the parts with Keanu Reeves and robot overlords). He believes that much of reality is a holographic projection or sensory illusion being beamed down by our alien overlords from the moon, which is actually a space-station with a hollow interior. No, really... no, '''really'. Headgear David Icke, as well as his fans, are well known in popular culture for promoting the aluminum foil hat trend. This trend started as a way of keeping evil conspiracy group here from being able to read the mind of the person wearing the hat, but the trend has grown to be popular in some mental hospitals, as well as in certain American militia movement meeting places.[''citation needed] Patriot movement Icke's relationship with the Christian patriot movement in the United States is somewhat complex. The London Evening Standard wrote in 1995 that there were "uncanny parallels between Icke's thoughts" and other mad ramblings "and the writings of senior figures in the armed militia movement in America". It has been alleged that while Icke is trying to court the right-wing to believe his crazy beliefs, his New Age voodoo quackery may actually be putting off supporters. He has also admired The Spotlight, published by the Liberty Lobby, as containing "excellent research" with a "long and proven level of accuracy". Although he fully believes that Christian patriots are the only Americans who know the truth about the NWO, he clearly views them as dogmatists who are nearly as rigid as their adversaries, saying: "I don't know which I dislike more, the world controlled by the Brotherhood, or the one you want to replace it with." This has put him at odds with other conspiracy theorists such as Mark Dice and Alex Jones. Icke also encourages people to be skeptical of religious fundamentalism and religious organisations in general... but just not of his crazy ideas. List of reptilian overlords Or at least, those people Icke believes to be. If any of these individuals are seen sacrificing children or drinking blood, they should be reported to Steve Bindi Irwinwp immediately. Royalty * The entire British royal family. The late Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother was apparently "one of highest satanic witches in Europe".23 * The Rothschilds * The Rockefellers * The Merovingians, a medieval French dynasty.24 * "The Habsburgs, the most powerful family in Europe under the Holy Roman Empire" * Various Egyptian pharaohs * Ok, basically every royal dynasty ever... Politicians Hail to the chief! * Dick Cheney; almost believable. * George "Dubya" Bush * Bush the Elder; claims that he spoke to many people who've seen him change to a Reptoid and back again in front of their eyes. * Jeb Bush * Al Gore * Gerald Ford * Ronald Reagan * Jimmy Carter * Richard Nixon * Lyndon B. Johnson * John F. Kennedy * Ted Kennedy * Henry Kissinger * Franklin Roosevelt * Ted Heath * Winston Churchill * Tony Blair * Dalton McGuinty, former premier of Ontario * Mikhail Gorbachev * Stalin * Ok, basically every world leader ever... Other * Kris Kristofferson * Charlotte Cooper * The Nagas (gods of the Indus valley). Mythical creatures are really other mythical creatures. This is some advanced conspiracy. Lawsuit In January 2015 Icke paid $90,000CAN in settlement of a lawsuit by Richard Warman, a Canadian human rights lawyer. Icke had defamed Warman in his 2001 book Children of the Matrix by making allegations of Satanic child abuse and murder. This was in addition to an out of court settlement of $120,000CAN Warman had already received from three Canadian book stores who continued to sell the book after being named as co-respondants in the case. In a public statement in March 2015 Warman said "This settlement exposes Icke’s argument that no one had ever sued him because his allegations were true as nothing more than a fallacy." In response to this monumental legal victory expensive defeat Icke posted a video response on his website explaining the background to the case which, unsurprisingly (and probably wisely), doesn't even mention it.32 Instead, and with an breathtaking display of chutzpah lack of awareness, he invokes the memory of Carl Sagan. Factoids Here are some reptoids factoids about Icke: * Icke was even passed over for Celebrity Big Brother in 2006 for being too weird.[citation needed] * In 2008, Icke ran for election to Parliament as an independent candidate in the Haltemprice and Howden by-election.33 He got only 110 votes, and lost his deposit.34 If the lizard people (who live between Selby and Hull) had let him win, he would not have actually entered Parliament as he vowed not to actually take the oath to the Queen required33 (as he believes Her Majesty and the rest of the Royal Family to be lizard people as well). Because the irony does not stop with this fellow, Prince Charles agrees with Icke on the alternative medicine stuff. * Icke was the only non-American interviewee on the life-saving DVD The Fall of America and the Western World. * Icke considers himself the most controversial writer in the world. Non-British people who don't pay much attention to the weirder sections of the bookstore consider him "who?" 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